now i think my 19th year was wasted on someone who wasted my time. haha i shall now follow the steps that julia tan devised LOL. gawd i don't want to be known as "the girl who's crazy over you", my goodness! love is selfish, love is blind, lets put all this all behind. hahhaha yaya and my fickle side doubts myself, and i feel like listening to "hopeless" by KT tunstall erm..now HAHA.


anyway it was the 100th day yesterday since my grandma passed away. the reality has started to sink in. but i still dream of her randomly like her doing some things at home when i return and so on. i met her friend the other day and was kind of reminded. actually i get reminded of this fact when i come home everyday because i will try to avoid the place where the funeral was held. it's really quite sad since she has always been there for me when i was like 1 day old or something.

i wanted to talk to someone when she fell , but the response wasn't what i expected. so when you asked me why i wanted to abstain from beef for one more day, i told you for "personal reasons" and thanks the only thing you could say was "omg you suddenly turn buddhist ah" OHKAY.


byebye-mariah carey
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamma's, daddy's, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
'Cos we will never say bye, bye

I never knew I could hurt like this (I never knew it)
And everyday life goes on like (everyday of my life I wish)
“I wish I could talk to you for awhile” (I wish)
“Miss you but I try not to cry”
As time goes by (I wish, I wish, I wish as time goes by)
And as soon as you reached a better place
Still I’ll give the world to see your face
And we were here next to you
It feels like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye