i didn't take public transport at all today!
cab from tuition place to zw's, then to river valley rd, then to town. then darren fetched loy and me to yishun farm(haha exotic) then liquid kitchen at thomson and then back home! haha. had lunch: http://www.brownsugar.com.sg/ THANK YOU(if you read this :p)

some pics:

foozhiwei kungfu style! haha first time so on. LOL.

CAUGHT trying on kiddo sunglasses.

his new lover! (out of 100)


HAHA!

the farm!

loy, took this "artistic pic" after many failed attempts.

liquid kitchen at thomson.

SORRY SIA NETBALLERS I PANGSEHED YOU haha timing clash la, clash you know. :x

Yipz - Kill sent 6/28/2008 11:58 AM:
do wat u think you shld do loh

are u willing to go on writing endless essays about matters that probably do not concern you but could possibly give u a degree. A degree that thousand others have as well. So after fighting for that degree with the thousand other people, you graduate with them and you continue fighting with them over the same jobs

and you might just lose out coz you dont really noe wat you want to do, except being a teacher.

OR you can try sth completely new and of interest and possibly get u a new degree that not many have, probably an added advantage at being a specialist rather than a general worker/ civil worker. and you dont have to fight with the entire society for those miserly amt of jobs. =)

depends on wat kinda fight you want really. a fight to be common or the fight to be a difference and make a difference. =)

IM still CONFUSED.

i so love this song "damaged" by danity kane! haha.
i got the nus letter, my appeal to FASS got thru, and thus i have to think it over again!
sigh!




yes la i feel energized!
(except the part where i almost slept during tuition yesterday JET LAG LA)

mel says:
you & (not) me, over over.
fill in the blanks yourself.

the pretty(majella loh) versus the ugly(mel fu).

the old versus the new.
the stagnant.

im sick and i feel like im about to die (julia tan knows this. once im sick,i aggravate my sickness by thinking that im going to die and i feel weak all over lol)

maybe ju tan and sandhya and maybe even majella will congratulate me as i take my first step out of misery.

SOON IT'LL BE OVER.
okay shall go sleep.

shall copy paste this on http://whereisourlove.blogspot.com/ !
sansan your life is very different. haha. anyway im in school now, and i have the first period free. oh and i am doing some teaching later for four hours -.-"! and my cca is going to be basketball. hmmmm. some fellow teacher--> caroline kept telling me about her intern and how good is he, tall la model la basketballer. shit, im turning les cos i do not waver. HAHA!


went out for dinner with samantha(not the aj one). think we can be lifelong friends. haha!
cos she loves shopping too! :) :) :)
(this part, julia & sandhya probably do not understand)

yesterday i had alot of concepts in my mind for artwork. for the first time i came up with a theme, and planned my pieces and the materials used. plan to do this next week after some planning, and hopefully it'll materialise. im so tired these few days that i have been seeing things. thought i saw a jap/chinese soldier at some tree downstairs. i looked at it thrice and at the fourth time he disappeared. but i was so tired to be SCARED i went home and slept. haha. ignorance is seriously bliss. -.-"! NAQ.

and majella loh, why did u tag 3 other people ???
p.s: i ponned my ftt. hahaha!

sometimes you just dont want to bother anymore. not only about people, but about the stuff around you.work,dreams,money.

theres a song about not wanting to lose "this feeling",
and it seems that i have lost "this feeling" for you.
maybe it's cos you dont treat me that well.
guess it's hard to find someone that i like, and i suddenly stop searching. drift.

being a grown up is sad. seems like you have to handle alot of things on your own.
be independent. no one is going to help you.
and you have to face so many problems. and people expect you to face them.
old age, death, seems to be common nowadays.

and suddenly, you feel the urge to save. you see the importance of it, realise
that it is not ethical to drain your parents out of it.
and for the first time, you reject money from your mom.

i should start to be a grown-up.
one day i may conform to society and expectations and become a normal person, leading a normal life.
(for now i curse this thought.)

HOCHIHOE! thanks alot! hahahaa.
we were SO NEAR YET SO FAR, im back already!

to ur questions: about the wat "2 year person".. well it's ONE YEAR, and doesnt matter hahaha. (the one sam said resembled you)

IM BACK! netballers pls tell me what to bring on saturday! sentosa with sonia/aileen/julia/majella. hmmm. julia and majella doesnt know yet. ooops. basically, i dated ju/jelly for sentosa today, then sonia and aileen asked me to go. so.. OKAY. haha.

few pictures up:

my cousin and his fiancee. san francisco.

golden gate.

http://www.nps.gov/alcatraz

damn weird i keep seeing this sign around, this one at walmart.

graduation.

the nicest dinner i had already. sigh.

nice leaf. haha. random.

9pm at stanford, super cold la. damn bright too.

took at train to LA. pacific ocean okay. surfer dudes -.-"! saw one that was quite good looking haha ONE ONLY. and wearing sunglasses so it may be a hoax.

HOOVER DAM/GRAND CANYON/LAKE MEAD.

DISNEYLAND. + alot of random photos of me quite ugly decided not to post and alot of em with cousin-in-law too.

sucks can't sleep&having a headache.

DISNEYLAND LA

i just left vegas.. 5 hour busride. i have like watched a thousand shows on buses. visited grand canyon yesterday. not as majestic as we thought. am at LA now. sigh. cant wait to go home. shall elaborate when i come back.

anyway i shall chiong grey's anatomy when i go home.
it's like i watched an episode 10 min ago on abc and omg, it's so touching.
especially when chasing cars played.
and hmmm, lots of eye candy too.


out of my USD 1000, only 200 remains (not inclusive of food, cos my cousin will settle it with my dad -.-"!)
stupid vegas, lost money la.haha someone who was working there caught me, (im underaged!) HOHOHO. wth. DISNEYLAND TOMORROW.

IM HOPELESS.

in LA now. wanna go home. haha! miss all the people! xx i bought ur shirts alr. piong, ur shirt is not available and julia tan, american eagle stuff not very nice la. and wth, gay marriages legalised in cali. thanks ah i seriously went dots when my uncle passed me the gay mag.


i saw kim from aj bball at stanford.
and i missed oprah winfrey who gave a talk there. tsk!
HELLO SON!! :D

goodbye to you!
:)


i must follow julia tan's 3 steps to freedom hahaha.
sms instead of email i think i may nt get to use the com!(cept for first 5 days at stanford) :(

i read this an hour ago. and it was like 3 years ago, i pondered over friendship. and im glad to say that i have loy and darren left, at least.. while others seemed to have distanced themselves from me, vice versa. oh ya and there's margaret too. (:

i met samantha just now and we went for another dose of partyworld. oh ! and i met suan yip ling for lunch today. which i had a birthday treat :D she's past the rebellious stage, and we had a good laugh over stuff like "whether the ceiling is a wall" and her stand is like totally opposite as compared to before (if i remember correctly).

listening to "lucky" now. (:

i wonder whether the world will stop for me, perhaps not the whole world, but the number of people who will be willing to slower their pace when i need them. yipling talked about the rat race that we are in. i realised that i cannot put alot of my thoughts into speech, and my brain works faster than my mouth. so when i speak gibberish, i must be working at maximum speed. haha, what nonsense eh! well, i agree that we are primarily put in this rat race, constantly trying to defeat other people.. but people like me, are in the rat race because i have to, because i lack the courage to take an alternative path, im in this rat race because i am the ordinary, i have to stick to the ordinary, and take no chances., no risks. and because of this , i am unhappy, because i am ordinary.

but then again, it's fine being ordinary.

just that i have to put up pretence infront of some people, to impress, to fulfill expectations.

ohya im going on holiday till the 24th.and my luggage is already full. lol.

PLEASANT SURPRISE!!THANKS TO ZHIYEN AND HUNNY!!!:D
































HAHA but i lost money at mahjong sigh.
darren liau is so pitiful foot in a cast -.-"!
i think my driving instructor (same one for 3 lessons already) thinks im damn dangerous and secretly laughs at me! SIGH!

now i think my 19th year was wasted on someone who wasted my time. haha i shall now follow the steps that julia tan devised LOL. gawd i don't want to be known as "the girl who's crazy over you", my goodness! love is selfish, love is blind, lets put all this all behind. hahhaha yaya and my fickle side doubts myself, and i feel like listening to "hopeless" by KT tunstall erm..now HAHA.


anyway it was the 100th day yesterday since my grandma passed away. the reality has started to sink in. but i still dream of her randomly like her doing some things at home when i return and so on. i met her friend the other day and was kind of reminded. actually i get reminded of this fact when i come home everyday because i will try to avoid the place where the funeral was held. it's really quite sad since she has always been there for me when i was like 1 day old or something.

i wanted to talk to someone when she fell , but the response wasn't what i expected. so when you asked me why i wanted to abstain from beef for one more day, i told you for "personal reasons" and thanks the only thing you could say was "omg you suddenly turn buddhist ah" OHKAY.


byebye-mariah carey
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamma's, daddy's, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
'Cos we will never say bye, bye

I never knew I could hurt like this (I never knew it)
And everyday life goes on like (everyday of my life I wish)
“I wish I could talk to you for awhile” (I wish)
“Miss you but I try not to cry”
As time goes by (I wish, I wish, I wish as time goes by)
And as soon as you reached a better place
Still I’ll give the world to see your face
And we were here next to you
It feels like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

<3 this version of umbrella by marie digby, it's like much better than the irritating original one. haha!

yesterday was a weird day.
weird lunch, weird tea, not-so-weird dinner.
loy is still as funny as ever,
and darren's general knowledge still sucks like always. HAHAHAHHA.

DAMN NICE!
lucky- jason mraz feat. colbie caillat


Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Yeah I hear you in my dreams
I hear you whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I put a flower in your hair
And though the breeze is through the trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
Let the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

the disgusted vs.the innocent

http://jasonmraz.shop.musictoday.com/Product.aspx?pc=JZCD09






two cds that i got today.finally.

Melissa is not a weakling.
Melissa should stop behaving like one.

growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional

-missgohpeiyong

who celebrates her 19th birthday today.haha!

staying at home is something that i should not do too often.
can't you just leave your dark and twisted life.
at least for now.





no no no i don't want to listen to all this.

Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds
Dreaming aloud
Things just won't do without you, matter of fact

for once you embrace change as it comes. perhaps it's a good thing.




"stop guessing."

got this from chihoe's blog.
FASCINATING!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7426869.stm

it is an uncontacted tribe sighted in the Amazon.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/05/30/brazil.tribes/index.html

you'll never know whats happening around the world.

i woke up yesterday and checked my phone. no messages, and felt kinda disappointed. haha then i replied coach (who wished me damn early) and okay the messages kept coming in! haha. thanks lots to all who remembered! :D

lazy to reply some people! oooops.

anyway my birthday wasn't a blast but i shall upload some presents i got over the week here erm maybe end of the week.
haha! thanks lots to goh peiyong, ang xinxiang and chua khenglim HAHA you know why cos er they absorbed all my whining! HAHAHA.

AND OF COURSE, SANDHYA BALAKRISHNAN.
okay for the presents i shall thank another day okay. haha. :D
im in school scanning things now. sigh.
meeting jiang and jiamein later!:D

ohya go watch sex and the city, SUPER NICE!

lim's wedding: 31st may 2008:

there are some people in the world who are able to point out the simplest things.
the irony of such simple things and make them sound like it's common sense.
they are people i want to meet, even though they make me feel stupid.


i actually know one of them. guess who. someone that i should hate, someone that i should be jealous of, someone who has caused all this confusion, maybe indirectly caused heartache to all. but i cannot bring myself to hate this person. in a way, this person is so special i understand why all this has happened.

The way im spending money is seriously not funny. from like next week i better save $ ! no more shopping! cept for saffie/diana's presents.

haha!the whole school thinks david and i are a couple cos we go home tgt and come to sch tgt and eat lunch tgt. and we have the same phone! when my student asked me about it today i shouted EWWWW and said damn gross HAHAHAHA. canteen aunty asked me why i only bought one plate of rice "the other teacher didn't come ah" DOTSSSSS. some student saw david and i at newyorknewyork and provided more "EVIDENCE" but come on, it's david ong!HAHAHAHAHAHAA! LALALALALALA. he is going to kill me if he sees this. to give him credit though, HE IS SUPER FUNNY LA FAINTSSSSS.

im listening to 我们的歌 by 王力宏. bought his album last night hahaha he is the ultimate shuai ge la! LOL!

david said im VERY MATERIALISTC. omg, wanted to die. well, his definition of materialistic is kinda weird anyway.tsk! we were laughing at students whose portfolio's included "cutting vegetables". you may think it's evil to laugh at them at stuff, but really, if you imagine those pictures in your portfolio, you will faint la. haha! david ong's like HIGH everyday wth. super kisiao~ oooooops! you seriously will want to laugh at his stupid face :p ! HAHAHAHAHA!

the whole of today i was typing mcq for the web thingy called HOT POTATO for the school. i completed ALL in a day, im also amazed myself. haha! anyway last night i reached a state of peace seriously. the rain just stopped, i sat beside the window on the bus, listened to jazz. seriously serene. mad right! yes...

think i need a new job, feeling stagnant already.
MEL FU IS REFLECTIVE, YET HAPPY!! WTH?! HAHAHA!

HELLO LULU! RANDOM!:D

my interview flopped.
they made me come out with this statement:
the confidence in arranged marriages will decrease with time.
and they gave me another statement and told me to prove them. omg,
im like supposed to study that when i get in right? tsk.

then the inflation question, i told them natural increase and natural disaster (and said that im a geog student so we learnt that in geog -.-) DIE.
the gay question -.-
then the last part i said "no questions, i will ask when i get here" and they replied "so confident?"
i was omg-ing all the way.

watched step up 2 with sam again!
shopped w david!
anyway today im amazed. there's this boy who has down syndrome and autism. he cannot understand what people say. but he can read and then carry out the instructions.

"Gibson does not sit on the stage."
"Gibson sits on the floor."
and he will move!OMG! anyway i helped out with JANITORIAL lessons today. -.-
wiping/sweeping. dots right? oh ya and i went back to ajc last night. not bad, i really miss school lots.

okay..............................................
hope to go home soon.waiting for that stupid mr.ong who is marking his papers upstairs.
and guess what, i saw goi the other day. OMG~
-.-

talked to one of my friends last night and he asked me to get the answer,get over with it and not waste time like him. then i told him i don't even need that one last shot because it's all in the past and all. and now im trying to convince myself that my above sentence is true.

anyway our sec sch semi outing failed terribly last night! tsk.
over the weekend:

• shopping/makan-ing with zw,jelly, wenyan(darren joined for a while, weird combi haha!)
• jelly made me wait for 2 hours for her smu interview!
• class outing yesterday. orange balloons (looks at peiyong) HAHA. slow reaction at MIND cafe (looks at wenyan :p okay i quite slow also) and violent behaviour (looks at xx). went to the marks and spencer cafe plus ate at an indonesian restaurant at centrepoint! JULIA DROVE ME! omg la. sigh.

smu interview soon. damn scared.

aiyo my neighbour thinks im dao. sigh!

i wonder how much time was spent waiting last night. such a disappointment! haha so charissa redskinnyjeans has this "damn cute" friend, and he made us wait for like 45 min-1 hour. US included bryant loh JR zw. tsk. like really STONED outside guess at taka. then we walked around aimlessly trying to wait for brian chen. haha! went to clarke quay after that and wth, timbre was full. like obviously it'll be full. yup anyway we ate at boat quay. which er... IM IMPRESSED AND YET ASHAMED cos everyone knows what they're going to do especially JR and his dreams and bla and it makes me feel old and that i haven't accomplished anything! haha we had this teachers' talk and the others were abit dots about it. i am also amazed by his passion for geography!! OHMAN. haha.don't know why but i think i fell asleep during the ride back home. long mrt rides have become another source for my sleep. that's a bad thing since i jerked in the afternoon HAHAHA.

meeting jelly later!

ohya anyway david and i were discussing ELITISM even in a special school. there's streaming and one of my students told me how she cannot communicate with the track 3 students. even in the track 3 class there's a disparity. which is shocking, but true.

man, im sitting in the level staff room alone typing out questions for their examination and two students just came in to get the answers from me (cos i did the other one wrongly haha). it's quite sad when they ask me whether im coming on monday. think i understand why a teacher has her favourite class and stuff. im actually feeling a little dots that i m taking leave on mon, the last day im going to teach in that class, cos of the smu interview. sigh. hope the outing later will make me happier. haha.

the aggressive girl says: try to tell teh others that i will try go online on tue the aggressive girl says: cos tue my hol the aggressive girl says: every other day got lesson OKAY MEET SANDHYA ONLINE ON TUESDAYS. (AFTERNOON) BTW HER TIME THERE IS LAGGING BY TWO AND A HALF HOURS. DOTS,she's some superstar ah!=.= badminton cca today.caught in the rain! tsk.funny people. role play.post pics when im not so sian. haha.

I MISS YOU SANSAN! READ ABOUT HER! SHE FINALLY POSTED! HAHAHAHA.
http://www.whereisourlove.blogspot.com


Numeracy (math) class. we baked cookies! i helped this group. at first there was this heart shaped one. but the recipe was dots. so.. haha! we did the cookies in the canteen btw.

more pictures that we took at zhiwei's house. like the second one. damn random. SITI IS SO VIOLENT. KHENGLIM TOO. I AM SOOOOOOOO PITIFUL :p majella tagged a vase as melissa. well, zhiwei tagged a cat. sad. now they are trying to involve me in their fight. dots i am so innocent and extra.

oh man, lulu gave me 15 min to complete what i wanna write here. sigh.

today david told me what he felt about me drifting along in life. because of my lack of aspirations, lack of goals, the lack of understanding of myself. i cannot relate to people like him who plan,work hard, and achieve. first of all, i don't even know what i want. isit arts? isit science? isit business? and im supposed to have more long-term goals. what do i want my life to be like? i can imagine myself doing something that i like actually, but it is such a far-fetched goal. but seems like it is my only dream for now, and im going to work hard to achieve it. omg, mellow mel. mellow mellow mellow. before i even get into university im thinking like a lao pok already. maybe the big 2 is really taking its toll on me. WAIT, IM STILL 19!!!damn the people who say im 20, or remind me constantly.

shall call lulu now.